March 11, 2014
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I’ve been having this inner debate with myself about sharing this or keeping it close.  Keeping my trap shut about it for as long as I possibly could, until now,  when I’m about to explode.

I’ve been in a funk.

Yep.  There it is.   It’s out there.  I typed it, it’s real.  I’ve been feeling seriously ho-hum about my work for months.  My clients love their images, to them they are new and exciting, to me they’re ‘ho-hum’.

I’ve lost that ‘epic’ feeling.  Wooooah that epic feeling.  ((why must I find a song to sing things to?  now i’ll never be able to get that tune outta my head))

I’ve fallen out of the habit of attempting something new with each session – be it a pose, new spot in the studio that I’ve not ever shot or even a new camera angle.  I miss shooting for the thill of shooting.  Unless it’s client work, I rarely pick up my camera because it’s work.  Work is work and fun is supposed to be fun and not work and even as I packed to go to WPPI in Vegas I seriously considered not packing my gear… I almost didn’t, but I’d committed to some fun shoots months before so I wouldn’t feel right backing out.  

It wasn’t until a few days ago that I realized the absolute truth and reason behind my funk.

I’m afraid to fail.   Without risk there is no failure.  Without failure there is no growth.  Without growth I become stagnant.  Stagnant is not where I want to be.  Epic is where I want to be.  Epic is where I used to live until I moved to the land of safety.

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Today I made the decision to move. I’m packing up my shit and moving back to Epic.