I’ve been having this inner debate with myself about sharing this or keeping it close. Keeping my trap shut about it for as long as I possibly could, until now, when I’m about to explode.
I’ve been in a funk.
Yep. There it is. It’s out there. I typed it, it’s real. I’ve been feeling seriously ho-hum about my work for months. My clients love their images, to them they are new and exciting, to me they’re ‘ho-hum’.
I’ve lost that ‘epic’ feeling. Wooooah that epic feeling. ((why must I find a song to sing things to? now i’ll never be able to get that tune outta my head))
I’ve fallen out of the habit of attempting something new with each session – be it a pose, new spot in the studio that I’ve not ever shot or even a new camera angle. I miss shooting for the thill of shooting. Unless it’s client work, I rarely pick up my camera because it’s work. Work is work and fun is supposed to be fun and not work and even as I packed to go to WPPI in Vegas I seriously considered not packing my gear… I almost didn’t, but I’d committed to some fun shoots months before so I wouldn’t feel right backing out.
It wasn’t until a few days ago that I realized the absolute truth and reason behind my funk.
I’m afraid to fail. Without risk there is no failure. Without failure there is no growth. Without growth I become stagnant. Stagnant is not where I want to be. Epic is where I want to be. Epic is where I used to live until I moved to the land of safety.
Today I made the decision to move. I’m packing up my shit and moving back to Epic.